Somebody Dies At The End
by scarletthewriter
Summary: Aliens are not uncommon in South Park. Too bad for them though, Hyperion isn't just visiting. Rated M for violence and language


**Chapter 1: Welcome Home**

 _I want out, Craig! I can't stand it anymore!_

 _I know, I know but just a little longer and then we can leave._

 _You Promise?_

 _I promise, Babe._

* * *

"W-w-we're here,fellas."

Craig slowly opened his blue eyes. He looked around the bus he was on, his vision a bit fuzzy from had just been woken up. He sat straight, resting his arms on the top of the seat in front of him and (wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth) looked outward to what's left of their hometown.

The light of the sun was hidden by the mass of a large ship. The town was covered in an eerie silhouette like a blanket.

They had been driving for several hours from Denver to get here. The board that held the town's name greeted anyone who dared to step foot into South Park. The small town was a magnet for disaster so this sign was more of a warning of things to come than a warm welcome.

Clyde, who was driving the bus, was looking up into the sky where everyone else was looking.

There was a giant, H-shaped space ship that was staring down at them, in the midpoint a giant metal eye .

Craig thought to himself. _Were they okay?_ and more importantly, _How is Tweek doing?_. He thought about his coffee bean and how He'd been handling the separation. Most likely as good as Craig, neither one of them could stand to be apart for long especially in circumstances like these. There would always be a few texts exchanged between the two throughout the day, and one day the texts stopped, making his anxiety even worse. Had he done something wrong? Did his service get cut off? Did he forget about him? The more likely answer was the second, perhaps the ship had interfered with cellphone service somehow and his texts weren't getting through. This was the most logical option so he stuck with it and didn't want to think of the fourth option that included a alien probe.

The bus bumped up and down as it ran over some bulky pipes that lead into the lake , which was now filled with a strange purple-ish liquid, and was harboring strange looking creatures that surfaced as the bus raced past them.

 _What the fuck…?_

There were two tentacles and what looked to be a giant mutant tadpole fixated on the bus. Five more then surfaced and they launched themselves out of the water and burrowed into the ground ( _Wait, can fish do that_?) chasing after them. Clyde, seeing this quickly reached for a switch, as he flipped it two turrets popped out of the back of the bus and immediately started firing at the fish monsters. How Clyde managed to attach turrets to the back of a school bus without shooting his arm , was beyond him. Craig never deemed him as gun smart, or any kind of smart for that matter. He most likely had gotten assistance from somebody, from who he could not begin to guess. It was obvious South Park had become a [more] dangerous place and he wasn't about to ask questions.

Clyde, fixated on the monsters that were chasing after them at an ungodly speed crashed into something. The crew got launched forward, sending Token slamming his face in the back of the leather bus seat in front of him.

 _Well, at least he's awake now._

"Ow." Token Mumbled. He sat up, and rubbed his nose with one of his hands, checking to see if it was bleeding. He made a look of disgust and wiped it on the bottom of his purple long sleeved shirt.

"You alright…?" Craig asked. Token nodded and stuck his tongue out to show his disdain.

"Snot, it's nothing serious."

Jimmy held onto what he could but still stumbled a bit and ended up falling into the aisle."Y-You ran into the shield!"

"Sorry, I forgot." Clyde said, fumbling with the gear to put it in park. He got up from his seat, quickly grabbing his pistol and opened the door.

"Point the barrel OUTWARDS!" Token called out, teasing Clyde.

"SHUT UP I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!" Clyde shouted back, holding the gun up as he ran outside.

The group watched Clyde run over to the intercom, gun in hand, to the gate and presses the button to talk while keeping the fish monsters at bay. Jimmy hobbled outside and helped cover Clyde as he tried to get someone on the intercom.

"Uh...open sesame?" Clyde said awkwardly, leaning into the mic as he spoke. After waiting a few moments, he tried speaking again until a loud high pitch squeal was heard through the speakers, making Clyde jump and cry out.

"Sorry about that, Clyde. Come on in, the shield is down." A female's voice spoke. Once the call ended, the boys saw a dome shaped light surrounding the whole town dissipate.

"Hurry up, before they start firing again!" The speaker boomed. They didn't have to be told again, once they saw the space ship's metal eye quickly consumed by purple-pinkish light they dashed as fast as their legs/crutches would allow back onto the bus. Clyde shifted the gear back in drive and slammed his foot down onto the pedal, The bus stuttered and shook as it picked up in speed, and passed through the gate just in time for the shield to return to deflect the laser.

Unfortunately, the fish monsters got their last laugh and they shot spikes at the bus's tires, right as the shield came back up. This made the large vehicle swerve and they hit the side of the Elementary School, totalling the front of the vehicle.

 _Good job, Clyde._

Clyde tried in vain to back it out, swearing the word shit at least hundred times as he did so. It was just not going to work, this bus was fucked with a capital F.

"C-C-Cl-Clll-" Jimmy stuttered. "C-C-Clyde, it's done! Stop!"

"Yeah, it's not park it the best you can and let's get out. " Token moved to open the door, trying hard not to judge his friend too much. Craig spoke for him.

"Dude, how did you not see a bright ass yellow brick wall?" Craig moved to get out of the seat giving Clyde **the look**. Usually this is only reserved for Clyde, and surprise, surprise Clyde got a dose of his daily medicine.

"Hey, it's good to have you back y'know." Clyde tried to change the subject before he felt more dumb.

"Nice to be back, I guess." Craig said, letting it go. " I missed you guys. Mostly Tweek, but you guys too."

"Aw." Clyde cooed, holding a hand to his chest, touched at Craig's moderately heartfelt statement. Clyde's attention then shifted to his ringing wristwatch, a bulky device with a touch screen interface. The small screen showed a young woman with long black hair and fair skin.

"Hey guys," The girl spoke. "Just wanted to let you know, we're all at Bebe's, so if you want to meet us there, that'll be great. "

 _All? Even Tweek?_ Craig knew he wasn't much of a drinker, he didn't need it, but under these circumstances he supposed being around anybody was more comforting than being alone. He hated the thought of Tweek forcing himself into toxic environments just to feel some form of calm. Hopefully he wasn't there, and instead at their house they worked their asses off to buy.

"We'll be there Ch-ch-chickadee." Jimmy stuttered, smiling his goofy smile.

"Might take us a minute since Dipshit trashed the b-" Craig was cut off by Clyde's shushing and his hand to his mouth.

"Shhh! Bebe will massacre me if she knew I sunk our only working vehicle!" Clyde panicked, but it soon turned into disgust as Craig licked his hand. "Ew, groooooss!"

Clyde rubbed the saliva coated palm onto Craig's blue jacket and gave him a look of his own. Craig was far from intimidated and flipped him off.

"What is going on over there?" The girl said with a raised eyebrow.

"She's going to find out when we show up with no- Ow." Craig griped as Clyde slapped him in the stomach shushing him once more. Clyde raised his hand and swore to her that everything was fine and that they were on their way.

"Alright, we'll see you there. Craig?" He looked at the small screen as he held Clyde in a headlock. "It's nice to see you again." She gave an uncomfortable smile that instilled unease within him .

"Uh, Thanks? You too.?" He said call ended before he could answer.

 _What the hell was that about…?_

" _C,mon let me go!"_ Clyde fussed as he wiggled his arms to get out of the headlock.

" _Oh."_

He then let Clyde out of his tight grip, and then they headed into town on foot, passing the school. They cut through the snow straight towards the bar.

Craig kept to himself as he always did. His thoughts ran laps in his mind, thinking of the uneasy smile she gave.

 _I'm overthinking it. Everything is fine. Everything is fine, like it always is. I'm going to find Tweek and we are going to bolt out of here before more crazy shit happens like it always does._

Craig let his mind wander as Clyde led the group towards what used to be Skeeter's building, despite the untrimmed hedges and the purple sludge everywhere, looked pretty nice. It had been gussied up with a new neon sign and a new coat of paint. That didn't seem like much, but that was all it really needed.

"Hey guys!" Called the young woman from earlier. She still looked like a sixteen year old, but then again Wendy always had a baby face. Something was definitely different about her…

 _When did Wendy get tattoos?_

Craig stared probably a moment too long, as she tugged on her sleeve to hide the blue marks. The sleeves were barely any use as coverage, as they were ripped, burned actually, where the marks could be easily seen. They were a strange tribal design, but with softer edges and bubbly patterns that ran down her arm, hip, chest and leg. Wendy seemed like the _last_ person to get any ink done, but judging by her expression, she must have lost a bet. Probably to Fatass. Or Heidi. Most likely Fatass.

"Cool tats, huh?" She laughed, despite trying to conceal them. She looked too uncomfortable for Craig's liking so he pretended not to see them.

"Huh? Oh, I didn't even notice." Craig looked over at the untrimmed bushes awkwardly avoiding Wendy's light pink gaze.

 _Must have been one hell of a bet._

"Make yourself at home, alright?" Wendy turned and walked inside. Craig stood there for a minute, staring down the doorway.

"Are you coming inside or not?" Token nudged him as he walked inside.

"...In a minute."

Token looked back and shrugged before walking into the bar, Jimmy and Clyde behind him. Craig gazed at the door for a few minutes. He didn't want to go in. The yelling and loud music was already too much, it was making him way too nervous.

Craig swallowed hard and forced himself to grab the handle to the door. As he was walking in, he noticed a sleeping dog laying outside asleep. Looked kind of like a doberman mixed with a wolf.

 _Great,so_ _ **THEY'RE**_ _here._

Crowds and loud noises were always on Craig's list of things to avoid. Stan's gang were a hard number three on that list, and it would have been higher if it weren't for the fact he really fucking hated the first two. With all three occurring inside the bar, it was even more reason to not go in. He gritted his teeth and headed in. The noise was even more nauseating as he entered the bar, the speakers were blaring and the patrons had to yell over the music to have a conversation. He looked around the room to see some familiar faces he knew since Elementary School; like Thomas, Douglas, Jason and some other assholes he can't remember the names of. He noticed people glancing at him and whispering to their companion, but he chose to ignore it. He heard a loud commotion going on at the bar.

" I said you're cut off!" A pretty long blonde curly haired woman shouted at a short black haired drunk man who was trying to reach over the bar to the liquor bottles. She had a nice collection of tattoos on her right arm that had candyland and floral theme with vibrant reds, greens and blues decorating her forearm. Above that said " _Love is sugar coated nonsense"_ in a girly font. These weren't her only ones, as she had a cutesy small red heart underneath her left eye. Clearly she'd been visiting Henrietta's. Her clothes weren't in the best shape, as her long sleeve red v-neck shirt was littered with holes, showing her black tank top underneath and was torn at the bottom. Her jeans were in the same shape, with holes at the thighs and the hip, the leather of her boots was also torn in places like the toe and the sides.

The man's clothing wasn't in any better shape, as his brown and red jacket ripped at the bottom, and the seam at the shoulder was coming undone. His red and blue puffball hat was frayed and filthy much like the rest of his clothes. His pants were much like the woman's, but filthier, dirt coating the knees, the soles of his converse were threatening to come off.

"Come on Bebe, please? I really, really need it.." He begged, his eyes puffy and red.

" No way, Stan. If you get alcohol poisoning, it ain't gonna be my fault. Now pay your bill and get the hell out of here." The busty woman said firmly. "Not unless you want my security to kick your ass out. Wendy!"

A loud objection from the petite long black-haired girl surfaced among the crowd.

"Stan, come on. I know you're upset but you're only hurting yourself." Wendy took his arm and wrapped it around her as she carried him out, Stan protesting the whole way out. They heard the dog's excited barking once Stan stepped foot outside and an argument pursued.

"What a train wreck." Bebe sighed. "I guess he'll have to pay up next time."

Craig wasn't paying much attention after that. He was too busy trying to find his ray of sunshine in the group of kinda friends and foes. Once he concluded that he wasn't in the room, he tried sneaking off to the bathroom, hopefully to see him there.

"Tweek?" Craig called. He opened the stalls one after another and realized nobody was there.

 _He isn't here._

That was a relief and a disappointment, at least he didn't have to stay in the piss smelling bathrooms, but Tweek was still nowhere to be found inside the bar either. Besides, he didn't want Tweek around all the smoking, drinking and noise anyway, it wasn't good for his condition. He left the bathroom quickly and headed to the bar where Token, Clyde and Jimmy were already making themselves comfortable. Clyde was making googly eyes at the only bartender, and the other two were cracking jokes. All in all they were having a merry time.

"Have you guys seen him?" There was a hush among the bar patrons. Bebe chuckled nervously.

"Who, sweetheart?" She said sweetly.

"You know damn well who." Craig wasn't too fond of Bebe's pronoun game, and rolled his eyes. His nerves started jittering as all eyes were now on him.

"Oh, You mean...Tweek?" She poured the contents of the tin that she was mixing a drink into a martini glass and gave it to the respective guest.

"No, my other boyfriend. Who do you think?." He snapped, focusing on the liquor bottles to keep his eyes off the many faces he unwittingly caught the attention of.

Bebe bit her bottom red lip, and looked to Clyde who was chugging beer as an excuse not to say anything.

"You didn't tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Both pair of eyes stared down at Clyde, who'd just finished his beer. He cupped the glass with two hands, tracing the rim of the pint glass with his thumb, trying his best not to look up at the faces the eyes belonged to.

"Tell me _What_ , Clyde?"


End file.
